Fall to winter

Fall to winter

When friends leave it’s like when leaves fall,
From green to red to brown i can seem the all,
Fall to the ground and blow away,
To another place and another day,

I miss each friend like a part of me,
And each leave is connects to me like a tree,
as they fall and float away,
It reminds me when you left that day,

And when I grief the season turns to snow ,
And the snow flakes fall and now I know,
That the flakes remind me of our unique individual friendships,
And how my time with you was worth it.

deserted island

Deserted island

It’s a peaceful get away with loneliness by your side,
When comfort leaves and all your worries are left behind ,
It’s an island of your happiness in contrast your worst fear,
From the edge of the sea to the end of the peer,

Seasons and weather almost like my emotions,
Life comes and goes so does devotion,
An island with peace and serenity,
With my inner Demons and me,

It’s like a positive with a negative connotation,
A peacemaker and a salvation ,
An island with me myself and I,
In the middle marks the eye.

Fly

Fly 

I’m not afraid to run away,

Even if my external instincts are to stay,

I’m not afraid to freeze in silence,

When my internal mind is in violence,

My steps are silent but my heart is loud,

When I’m alone I make no sound,

I fly back to yesterday’s,

When my days were in a blurry haze,

My world rocks gently in the breeze,

As my spirit lingers in the trees,

Flying through the endless maze,

Bright in the fiery blaze. 

Poetic space

Poetic space 

When the world seems to Subside ,

The sun and the moon Collide,

The elements Intertwine,

In a poetic state of mind a unique Design , 

As the words flow Together ,

the verses never Sever ,

The journey leads the Endeavor

To answer the messages Some people never ,

Live to find out,

What the journey is all about,

Traveling to find the poetic space,

Internal world beyond it’s face . 

The imprint on my heart

The Imprint on my heart 

I’m blessed for today,

And the people who made me become this way,

I’m grateful for the people’s light; lighting me in my dark days,

And people who made me realize there are other colors like grays ,

I’m hopeful for the future and the rest of my life,

With the happiness and the strife,

I’m blessed for all the positive influences who impacted me,

It’s like a forever imprint making me who I wanna be,

I’m thankful for tomorrow’s ,

And the brighter days with less sorrows ,

I’m imprinted with forever real friends,

And I’m grateful till the end,

It’s an imprint on my heart,

And I’m blessed to be apart ,

Of the transition into

Recovery ,

Life is a journey of Infinite discoveries. 

Train station

I’ve got my ticket to the next station,
With nervous feelings and anticipation ,
I took the window seat , the view to the world of possibilities,
Confident in my abilities,

To make it to the next stop in my recovery,
As I pack my suitcase with determination and self discovery ,
I’m on the train to the next stop,
All the way to the top,

I’m ready to leave the familiarities of what I call my home,
I’m ready to take off soar and roam,
I’m ready to take on the road on to tomorrow,
Filling my life with more options and less sorrow.

Story of me

Story of me

When I started I was trying to find myself,
Despite the fact I didn’t know I had  distorted mental health ,
I tried to fit in despite the odds and quirks,
And I grew and made friends , even with my perks,

As I grew older it seemed to change,
The views of friendship seem to
Rearrange,
Insecurity lingered into my life,
Emotions gone wild happiness and strife ,

Being a teenager made life confusing,
Despite my personality being amusing,
Friends and guys were a blur and a riddle,
And I was always stuck in the middle,

But then I made some great yet no so great friends,
It was right but bad in the end,
I didn’t know what I gotten myself into,
I just wanted friends and to be popular too,

But then I hit rock bottom ,
Emotions and stressor just got em,
They made me sad I start bad habits,
And they just multiplied like rabbits,

Then I moved over and over again,
darkness haunted my days and then,
Years past and I was low,
Feeling all alone,

Then I got courage , inner will and confidence,
I made true health friends and it wasn’t intense,
I was a year without self harm and feeling great,
And I couldn’t wait ,

To show the world despite the struggles in life ,
And all the pain and strife ,
And all the  odds against you,
Life will eventually stick together like glue.

Clockwork

Time changes you but you adapt,

Slowly you grow old and time starts to Lapse ,

Memories become lessons and lessons become stories ,

Of past failures and past glories ,

You grow wiser yet the memories remain a distant past,

Of the journeys you took and the pain that last,

Your life is like a clock it flows in a circle motion,

With every passion, vision and devotion,

The hands move as life moves with the sun and moon,

When you grow your life blooms,

Internal growth and external factors,

Help lift your spirits and your impactors. 

Whispers of encouragement

If you can’t find the answers keep going,

It doesn’t hurt to keep knowing,

Remember the positive feelings , you can do this,

Forget that  saying ignorance is bliss,

You can do anything you set your mind too,

Remember what you gotta do,

Have inner strength and encouragement,

For a life of fulfillment,

Nothing comes easy,

Life isn’t super peasy,

Remember it takes a few words to keep you going,

As your hope keeps flowing,

Don’t forget to keep your head held high,

Point it to the sky,

Encouragement has no limitations,

With a great positive sensation. 

Flaws bend don’t break

Don’t try to change what you lack,

Your beautiful no matter what, no ones keeping track ,

Despite you feeling like you need to change,

It’s just the thought process that needs to be rearranged,

Your amazing for who you are,

Don’t try and change cause your a shining star,

If there’s something you don’t like about you,

Remember you are something special too,

If life gets you down,

Remember the love that surrounds,

You when you feel insecure and down,

remember you can always turn it around,

Cause your flaws don’t define you,

So don’t let that prevent you from doing what you need to do. 

Fit it all back together

If you can’t mend,

Try to blend,

The pain with the happiness,

And all the truth and the sappiness ,

Remember it’s takes a while to heal,

When the hurt is real,

And the sadness is true,

And the sky is a dark empty blue,

Don’t hide it,

Ride it,

Sit with it till it comes through,

Knowing you got you,

And nothing can stop you,

When life is hard and you feel like you can’t do,

Remember it’s ok to feel,

The pain and the sorrow is real,

Don’t break,

even though it aches,

Ride the waves through the pain,

Stick it out through the wind and the rain. 

Stormy days

Stormy days

The pattering of the rain droplets fall to the ground,
As the thunder makes that crashing sound,
Lighting crashes through the sky like  a bright star,
As my heart jumps , collecting my wishes in a jar,

The storm washes the sky,
Dry the tears that the angels cry,
The booming sound of the thunder,
Soothes the pain we hide under,

Light strikes as you track the way it flows,
As the distance fades you will eventually know,
The story behind the stormy weather,
Until then things get better.

It’s an endless adventure

It’s an endless adventure

Once a door closes another one opens,
Another chance and an opportunity to put your hope in,
A journey to a new chapter in your life,
Another adventure filled with happiness and strife,

Every season , every opportunity opens new doors,
Lifting your spirits offering you more,
Your integrity is tested and your strength is shifting,
As your mind wanders and hopes are lifting,

New page and a new story,
Opens up a new door to glory,
Darkness appears and light shines through,
The new adventure starts with you.

Clean

Clean

It’s like a breathe of clean air,
It’s like the courage that I had and now it’s already there,
Clean conscious, beautiful person,
No fear of that it will worsen ,

The sky is finally blue,
I can finally start a new ,
Chapter in my life ,
Full of happiness and not strife ,

I can feel and retain the memories of the past,
But it will no longer last,
Cause I’m clean from the ache,
It’s like I’m alive from a wake,

I’m blessed it’s a new day,
A new life a new situation , a new way,
Stronger yet more aware,
I’m clean yet it still lingers there .

Step by step

Step by step

No journey has an end,
It has multiple twists , turns and bends,
It begins and ends with a new,
As everyday a new sky turns blue,

The turns could lead to a dead end,
Loose and gain a few friends,
The path may not seem straight,
It might be some crazy eight,

It’s a on going path full of trials,
Two steps forward, one back while,
You progress and decline,
Knowing everything will be fine

Pretty imperfections

Pretty imperfections

I may have little quirks that make me strange,
But I have enough personality traits I can rearrange,
I may seem different and a little shy,
But that doesn’t mean I cant be strong inside,

despite the things that make me different I love them all,
Despite the pain I won’t give in and fall,
I have pretty imperfections ,
Which shows my true reflection,

I’m strong to admit there are things people and I don’t like,
But I’m open to new things cause life is a hike,
My flaws make me who I am inside,
So I won’t let them get the best of me no Matter how hard I try.

Semicolon

Semicolon 

This poem is dedicated to everyone who struggles with self harm or a Eating disorder. It’s called semicolon. A semicolon represents a sentence that an author could of ended but didn’t . Don’t give in , don’t give up remember the fight is worth it and the outcome is life and that’s precious. 

It’s hard I know ,I’ve walked down that path,

And sometimes it hurts and you can feel the wrath,

But trust me your not alone,

Despite your emotions feeling like stone,

I’ve felt the pain,

And I cried tears like pouring rain,

I wore the long sleeved shirts and I’ve regret the pain,

But I needed it to be sane,

But i realized you can live with it,

And that doesn’t mean quit,

Your life is worth it , precious and special,

Every part of you and blood vessel,

Remember your beautiful for who you are,

And you deserve life your a shining star,

Don’t forget that life isn’t all about pain,

Cause there’s sunshine after all the rain. 

I’ll never be enough (but that’s ok )

I’ll never be enough (but that’s ok)

I can’t compete with something
you ask and I cannot do,
I can’t turn myself into someone else out of the blue,
I can’t be something I’m not ,
And you won’t see me trying to get caught,

Your biggest competition is yourself,
Dreams , goals and life long wealth,
Won’t make you happier if you aren’t being you,
And that you should have to change a single detail ( not one or two),

Despite the words trying to make you change or fit in,
Remember that you should love yourself and changing unless for the better is a sin,
Love yourself despite the words tell you otherwise,
And it’s ok to forgive and let those tears cry,

You are your own enemy pulling  you forward and pushing you back,
Don’t settle for this inner attack,
You may feel like you’ll never be enough ,
But remember your strong and tough.

Stargaze (A stars kiss)

Stargaze ( A stars kiss)

My tears reflect the stars like diamonds in the sky,
Shining like the answers to the reasons why,
In the sky the stars shine like the dreams when I’m asleep,
As it shines it calms me when I weep,

The stars makes images ,when I’m without words,
As my mind soars through the sky like flying birds,
The sky with stars represent the light in my eyes,
When a spark of hope reminds me to try,

Cause when I don’t make it to the moon I will fall and gaze upon the stars,
Reminding me who I am and that I’m perfect ,despite my scars.

Younger one

Younger me,
Your all I hoped you could be,
Kind hearted and sweet,
I’m glad we finally could meet,

Life for you I know seems so unsure ,
I don’t know how much you can endure,
But let me tell you your not alone,
And you’ll understand once
Your grown,

It’s nice to see you happy and alive,
Don’t worry in the past you will strive,
I’m telling you all this cause I know,
That you’ll be successful when you grow,

I’m sorry to say you will have pain,
Constantly but it won’t remain ,
Young me , I know it’s hard to take ,
But you are strong and you won’t break.

Let me leave you with this,
Remember life’s bliss ,
Cause happiness is a choice,
And you got the voice

Mirror image

I’m looking into the mirror and I see me,
A vision of the past  and who I used to be,
Younger me ,Smiling right back at me,
The past self and the present me staring into each other eyes as we,

Share each others stories and dreams,
My past self realizing life isn’t set perfectly as it seems,
My present mind reflects on my younger self,
To always value your kindness and health,

As the mirror merges us into one,
We continue on, knowing life has just begun ,
Knowing that living is just the beginning,
Life’s a race and your winning.

When doors open

When a door opens take the chance,

It maybe your last glance,

take that chance, even if you aren’t ready,

Live life don’t settle for living steady, 

Take adventures , be bold,

Achieve that goal , earn the gold,

Stand strong and charge the mountain,

Let the glory fall on you like a fountain,

Don’t forget to stay true to who you are,

When you are who you are you shine like a star,

Remember the door might not always be there,

But try it, do the dare,

If doors open take it and walk through,

Believe me you can make it do the do,

It maybe be scary but don’t give in,

Remember life won’t be successful if you don’t try, just win. 

The strumming sound of poetry

The strumming sound of poetry 

The words flow together like a beautiful melody,

Showing the meaning behind the picture , some clarity,

The rhymes flow together like two notes the beat as one,

Until the entire poem is done,

As I write the words it’s like strumming,

And with every verse the poem keeps coming,

As the verses blend together,

As the poem embarks us on an endeavor ,

The internal and external vibe,

Symbolizes the scribe,

That motivates the meaning,

Combined with emotion and feeling . 

A brush stroke of poetry

A brush stroke of poetry.

Vivid yet symbolic words describe the flow of air through the page,
Different tenses and experiences like it’s written in a different age,
The images float like clouds throughout the mind,
You could even picture a scene if you were blind,

The words whisper a different meaning in the air,
A different emotion lingers there,
A dark mind can seem light,
and happiness can be found at night ,

as the page flows with verses on the page,
The story takes you through an age,
Internal emotions and external feelings,
Makes the poetry brush strokes so surrealing

Despite the negative

I may seems weak but I have many strengths,
And despite the situation ,I can go further lengths ,
To achieve my goals and my dreams,
But life isn’t as simple as it seems,

I may have confidence but I tend to
Doubt myself,
I have courage and determination, despite my health ,
I won’t give in to the inner voices that make me scared,
Cause I’m fully capable and aware,

I’m limited but not forever,
I won’t give up and I won’t ever,
Give in although it’s rough,
Cause I gotta believe and be tough,

I know that negative seems a lot,
But it won’t interfere with my plot,
To achieve my dreams,
Just cause my journey is as unique as it seems .

Life isn’t a easy game

I feel so alone,

It’s like my emotions are cold as stone,

I miss the past even though I can’t go back,

It’s like the future is uncertain and out of whack,

I can’t remember feeling this way here,

But I wish my friends were back and near,

I feel confused and lost in emotion,

Trying to find motivation and

Devotion,

I can feel time flowing by,

Here seems different and inside ,

I want to feel the same,

But life isn’t a easy game . 

A little scattered

I’ve been feeling kinda of hallow,
Life has been so hard to swallow,
I’ve been making so many new choices,
Lots of outside voices ,

I’ve been up and down since ,
I can’t seem to convince ,
My mind to slow down,
Since I’ve been emotionally exhausted into a frown,

I feel alone since I’ve been back,
So alone , so out of whack,
I feel out of touch , not connected to me,
Internal Influences are shouting towards me, I can’t see,

The clear picture the best solution,
So lost in confusion.

It’s doesnt define me

I may seem strong,

But they journey still goes on,

I may feel better,

But there’s always stormy weather,

Days may be great and I may smile,

But pain lingers but all the while,

I’m strong enough to be here,

Despite sadness being so near,

I may cry when I’m sad,

But I may have times were I’m glad,

I may feel different sad things than normal,

But I can still be formal,

I might be someone with depression,

But I still feel love , happiness and connection,

Despite how I feel,

I’m still the same and it’s real.

If they ask

Life is full of opportunities to finish the puzzle,

Even With its joys and constant struggles,

There is darkness and light all around,

Echoing from the shadows is hope to be found,

Let the pain come but soon pass,

As the mourning comes but doesn’t last,

As long as the sun keeps rising and falling,

Hope will come calling ,

For those who ask can receive,

The best happiness they can achieve. 

You had a big impact on me

You had a big Impact on me 

You were like an older sister to me,

You helped me become who I wanted to be,

Your voice was encouraging and uplifting,

Like a birds voice when it’s sings,

My heart was never prepared for what happened when I found out,

Nothing came out not a sound or a shout,

I was so shocked you had it all together,

But every soul as it’s moments it severs ,

I was scared, distraught, lost and confused,

It was like a fire in my heart has fused ,

My mind couldn’t put the pieces together,

But I never thought it could happen never ,

You were so strong,

But how long ,

You could of made it,

But I guess you lost it a bit,

Your touch made a huge impact on me,

Your admired by me and I can truly be,

Grateful for your smile,

Even when your gone and while ,

I’m alone I’ll remember you till the end,

Cause you were always my friend 

Heavens new angel

Heaven new angel

Now I will look at the sky and remember you,
All the memories and amazing things you did too,
I’ll see the clouds and remember your face,
The beautiful person you are and your warm embrace,

I’ll look at the stars and remember your voice,
And I’ll never know why you made that choice ,
But I’ll look up and remember your
Smile,
The smile that made me smile and others while,

You were still here,
And when I’ll look up, your always near,
Your dear to my heart,
Despite your far apart.

At times

At times 

There are moments through out the day when I feel alone,

So hallow like stone,

It’s like a light has left my soul,

And its left with a gaping hole, 

I never felt truly ready for you to go,

No matter how much I prepared I didn’t know,

How hard it would hit me when you were gone,

It’s like a dark empty dawn,

I try to remain in the present day ,

But certain things lead me astray,

Certain moments and memories make me sad,

Cause the moments with you made me glad,

It’s hard cause I felt like a had a real connection,

With all my great intentions,

I was never ready for you to go,

But I know now something I’ll never know,

What it’s like to have a true friend,

Through thick and thin, till the end. 

There’s tomorrow

There’s tomorrow 

When your all alone,

And life seems dark and cold as stone,

Remember why there’s always tomorrow,

To cure and fade all your sorrows,

And when life seems hard and causes your in so much pain,

Remember it’s just part of the rain,

It will fade and time will heal,

Sadness it’s natural and real,

As long as you feel the feeling,

You can finally feel the healing,

There’s always a light and a tomorrow,

to dry all your pain and sorrow. 

I ask why

I Ask why 

Tears fall and I cry ,

I look at my life and question why,

It’s hard to feel the pain,

But it’s something natural but it remains,

It haunts me , and I wanna know why,

Tears fall and I cry,

But life seems like an endless struggle,

With empty pieces to the puzzle, 

So I sit here and question why,

Why time seems to fly,

When life has its great moments,

And sadness takes its toll  and owns it, 

But there are so many whys to unanswered prayers,

Life continues on and as layers,

I will move forward and still wonder why,

Tears fall when I cry. 

When it seems impossible

dedicated to Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain

 (everyone suffers from pain whether it’s internal or external , it’s a battle. It’s okay to ask for help. When life seems impossible to bare remember there’s always someone that cares. ) 

When it seems impossible 

The space between your fingers brings comfort in bed,

As You replay the things over and over In your head,

You imagine the sun beyond the rain,

And the happiness beyond the pain,

So many go through the same pain,

As it consumes them , instead of falling down the drain,

The pain can be the shadow of their fear,

Drawing them closer ,as they shed a tear,

Nothing can bring them peace,

Internal or an external release,

No matter what happens here,

The end of you won’t draw near,

Cause your strong despite the pain,

There’s light beyond the rain,

And even if it seems like the end,

Everything and everyone must mend.

Hole in my heart

It hasn’t even been a week,

But my Loneliness and sadness has reached its peak,

It’s like the sun won’t ever shine again,

As all my sorrows fall into a empty drain,

It’s a blue sky, yet all I see is grey clouds ,

Lost and empty in a large crowd,

I try to imagine your still here although your far away ,

But no matter how far you are ,

I wished you Stayed ,

Time seems to drag on forever,

It’s like part of me has severed,

When I laugh it feels like there’s no meaning,

It’s like I’m lacking in feeling,

I know people come and go all the time,

But I’m in deep Sadness with my rhymes ,

Cause it hurts to feel like I’m all alone,

As my heart feels cold as stone 

Days seem to drag on

I can’t seem to count the days,

Cause it seems to haunt me in so many ways,

That soon you will be away from here,

And that our time is drawing near,

every moment of everyday it gets close to you leaving,

And the times together is like Weaving ,

Over and over until their gone,

And then it’s over just like another dawn,

My mind admits it but my hearts not ready,

I can’t contain it I can’t keep my heart steady,

Maybe I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,

But I know I can’t be strong you see,

I’ve done so much with you,

So many days and nights too,

I’ve had a good role with you,

And I hate to see you go too,

But nothing will prepare me for this,

Not even my happiness for you and bliss,

will stop me from missing you,

And all the things we’ve been through.