Sunset

A tender flush from the warm sky,

Sun shines through the reflection in my eyes ,

Soft sand around my feet, 

warm winds touch beneath,

Reds , pinks , yellows unite ,

As my sun takes off in flight,

My soul runs deep,

Deep as the reds blur and seep,

Warm hazy skies,

Gentle calm sad goodbyes,

Sunset by the sand,

Florida’s warm wonderland .

Mark

I feel so deep,

So true , my heart will weep,

I feel strong agony to the bone,

Hard dark as strong as stone,

My heart aches when I know it’s real ,

It hurts when I don’t want to feel,

My pain leaves a mark ,

As it strikes like a spark,

Into the darkness at night ,

Dark in pain sight. 

Behind the mask

Sometimes I’m scared to hide,

The things inside,

From the people around me,

Cause I can’t really be,

The me I am inside,

Cause life is hard , believe me I tried,

Ive been different from everyone else who can see, 

With all the cards been handed to me ,

I wanna be the true me,

But the mask blinds me I can’t see,

The pain that is portrayed inside,

My heart is locked , beyond my pride ,

My eyes look at the darkness in me ,

Beyond the light it’s just the reflection we can’t see . 

Happy holidays

Hey blog readers and followers ,

Happy holidays everyone. I’ll be writing less over the remainder of December cause I’ll be on vacation. But I just wanna say thank you for all your comments and follows . I’m so happy you all love my blog. 

-Caitlin 

Growth.

I’m not the same as I was,

                         Life changed me , like it does,

                        I may have been different              

                       Before,

                      But I’ve changed so much more,

Of myself I can’t believe how,

                         Grown,

                        So much my life has flown,

                      I’ve made so many successes  

                     Had many good times,

                   As life changed me in rhymes,

Poetry brought me sanctuary 

                        and peace,

                      A calm sense of release,

                    The change and poetry made me 

                    The me I am today,

                   But I’m the same in a different

                   Way.  

Writing my tears

I try to hold back tears,

Calm my fears,

Stop my anxiety from taking me down,

From turning my smile into a frown,

I try to be a strong independent person at heart,

But I feel like child being ripped apart,

I can’t calm my fears,

So I’ll just write down my tears ,

My mind is as crazy as highway,

Filling up everyday ,

My head is swollen with words of pain,

As my eyes refuse to fall down like rain,

I’m strong yet I’m fighting a uneven battle,

I’m being pulled like cattle ,

I’m sorry that I can’t get my act together,

Anxiety is killing me and it will never ,

SEVER......... 

Missing pieces

I’m scared,

I’m not even there,

I can’t get over the thought,

It just keeps getting caught,

I’m paralyzed by fear,

For what’s coming near,

I build a wall,

I don’t want it to topple and fall,

I’m sorry I’m not feeling strong,

Even though ,I’ve built it up so long,

I tried to get myself to heal,

But it’s all so surreal,

I’m dragging my feet ,

Feeling bleak ,

Lost in the moment of time,

Stuck finishing this rhyme . 

It’s not feeling like Christmas this year

This year doesn’t feel like the holiday season,

And I’m not so sure why , for some reason,

Maybe it’s the lack of human spirit,

Or maybe I’m not near it,

The month seems different from before,

Less decorations and more ,

Selling stuff in stores,

Nothing from merchandise from floor to door,

And maybe it’s cause I’m not young,

And all the Christmas jingles have been sung,

Yet maybe there’s no magic left,

Like something stolen in theft,

It’s not the same feeling,

Nothing like before , it’s pealing ,

Away from the magic of Christmas,

It’s like Gone and pass 

My head

The anxiety is building within me now,

I’m trying to stay in the present , I don’t know how,

To go back into the calm sane me,

Cause it’s killing me and bringing me to where I don’t wanna be,

I try to remember the lessons that I’ve learned before,

But it’s a strong dig the anxiety I need more,

Coping ,lessons, help and guidance from others,

But I still can’t understand why I’m afraid from family lovers,

Maybe I’m overthinking things in my head,

But it’s keep me up , endless circles in bed,

I try so hard to remain myself,

But I can’t stop thinking it’s my mental health,

I know I’m not weak,

But I can’t even think ,

About the fun I’m gonna have with people I love ,

when I’m so consumed up above .

Doze

I drift into darkness and light,

Where’s there’s no moon at night,

No light to keep me warm,

No calm touch of an arm,

I feel the texture of the leaves beneath,

As the darkness consumes underneath,

I feel like I’m floating like a leaf ,

Circle like motion in a wreath ,

My body seems light,

As it drifts into darker nights,

My eyes close,

To drift into a doze. 

Light

I walk in darkness with hope in my heart,

As the world seems so torn apart,

I walk with light in my soul,

When true whole world is an empty hole,

Life seems so different than before,

Lacking , yet now there’s something more,

A sense of light , hope gravitating towards me,

As my soul continues to flow free,

My innocence I’ve seen the dark and light,

Hypnotized by fear and fright ,

I follow the light down the road,

As gentle as the sun and the river flowed . 

I’m ..... different yet the .... same

This is a poem about how you may seemnone way to someone but a different way to yourself. -( for example I may not be strong but I have lasted this long and survived the pain) this is a poem showing the inner vs the outer strength in yourself and others and how the precive you . 

I might not be strong,

But I survived this long,

I may not have friends ,

But I’m my friend till the end,

I maybe just a fool ,

But I come across way cool,

I may look lost,

But I’m killing it like Elsa from frost,

I can’t be anyone else but me,

But I can me a better me to be,

I may not have faith,

But I’m light as a feather no weight,

I may not have been there,

But I still very much care. 

When

Life is full of good moments and bad,

Some make us happy and some back us sad,

Tears and laughs, ups and downs,

Crazy faces and deep frowns,

But no matter what comes our way,

There’s always something more coming or way,

Something new to try,

And you can’t deny,

You might have bad moments,

But stand there and own it,

That no matter how hard you try,

You always got yourself and I,

To guide your through the maze, 

When life is in a haze. 

Warm

The calm internal peace,

Warm gentle release,

Windy days,

Calm grey ways,

The symbol of love,

Peaceful like a dove,

The nature is so serene,

Of what is being seen,

There’s pain and love,

Nothing below or above ,

Internal  and external views,

Is the best news. 

Behind the scenes,

Is warm and serene. 

To all.

Happy first night of Hanukkah everyone

Lights

The candles shining for eights days and nights,

Shining bright , strong lights,

A miracle with oil only for one day,

Lasted the whole 8 days all the way,

Prayers in unison , symbolizing togetherness ,

Lights standing tall nevertheless,

The lights lasted long,

Bringing hope and faith everyone strong,

Presents for 8 days,

But it’s not even about that anyways,

It’s about the togetherness and strength of the lights ,

Which lasted 8 days and nights . 

Happy Hanukkah blog readers

Happy Hanukkah!!! Everyone 

Battle

Life is a battle ,

Hard but I’ll push through the cattle,

Weak and broken I’ll strive though,

Painful but I’ll start a new,

Journey , a new path way,

Stronger and wiser anyway,

Life is tough but I won’t give in,

I’ll lose but someday I’ll win,

I’m no longer an enemy of my fears,

But I admit I still have tears ,

I fight through the darkness and the pain,

Beyond the thunder and the rain .

Willing

Life is tough,

But I’m strong enough ,

To face my fears,

And dry my tears,

Life is hard,

But I will stand my guard ,

Being cautious of the dangers,

And have faith in my angels,

Life is sad,

And it might make me mad,

But over all I’m strong,

As life prolongs,

Life may make me laugh,

But no Paragraph ,

in my life will make me weak,

For the knowledge I’m willing to seek,

Life is test,

And yet I’m like all the rest ,

Scared , unsure and willing,

To join the choir and starting singing 

Beauty

The beauty of the petals makes the flower unique,

As it lifts my spirits when i am weak,

It gives me hope from its survival,

Defying all its rival,

It’s petals flow gently in place ,

Bringing hope to the human race,

Symbolizing inner strength,

Survival among long lengths 

Track

In the hope we rise,

As we fall, internal cries ,

I stand with courage on my shoulders ,

Pushing through that strong boulder,

My hands ache from the war,

As it pushes me far,

Far, farther from my goal,

But only time will take its toll,

On my inner will ,

 But I’m stuck in the chill,

Of the nights behind me,

And the terrors that are prevent me to see,

My strength on my back,

Leading me to the right track

A hand of a poet

When my hand touches the pen, it’s a rush of relaxation,

Words flow out of my mind like no temptation,

Rhymes come together like a perfect tone,

It flows through me right to the bone,

Sometimes there’s a message and sometimes there’s not,

I can’t keep up from all I’ve written, I’m

Caught,

In a poetic state of mind,

And all it does is replay and rewind,

My writting speaks from heart ,

Poetry and voice can’t keep it apart,

Sound like a rhymthic pattern ,

 verses strong and  out of this world like Saturn 

I envisioned

I envisioned life to be a test,

Yet not one who studies or fails can be the best,

I hoped for life to have meaning,

Yet so much meaning it’s so surrealing,

I’ve shaped the body to look different in size,

Yet there’s always a compromise,

I hoped you would understand,

But life’s never like you’d planed ,

I envisioned my path to be stronger,

Yet it took me longer,

I hoped for challenges every step of the way,

Yet it hasn’t changed any day,

I envisioned a two way street,

Yet I drag my feet,

I hoped for an universal way of speaking ,

Yet it’s suppressed and fleeting .

Pondering

The tears fall so deep,

As long a river flows, she weeps ,

Tender , love and so innocent,

Yet confident and content,

She cries when she’s alone,

Yet around others she’s composed as stone,

Missing inside herself and her home,

She’s trapped in dome,

She has friends yet, seems lonely,

As she prays “if only life gets easier” if only,

She has to be strong,

But how long,

Her inner child so scared so afraid,

But she doesn’t want to lose the progress she made,

I might not feel it now or understand,

But when I write I know my feelings aren’t bland ,

I might think of what I write to how I feel,

But maybe it’s a distorted view of what’s real ,

I try so hard to write my thoughts and what’s real,

But I’m stuck on the true deal,

Behind reality,

Vs sanity 

Serenity At night

The peaceful light in the darkness shines,

Leaves all my terrors behind,

It’s bold circle symbolizes hope,

When the only word from my lips was nope,

The night sky brings me back,

To nights where it was all black,

To reminisce and remember the moon,

That shines bright in the mists of doom,

Innocence is hidden in its darkness,

Shining it’s florencents,

Dark night bright moon,

The hope in the mists of doom 

Christmas tree

Lights around the Christmas tree,

Warm vibes around me,

Spreading happiness and holiday cheer,

Surrounded by family and peer,

Candy canes and Christmas balls,

All holiday long,

Tinsel , sparkles all around,

Bringing that warm sound,

Presents around the Christmas tree,

Surrounded by joy and glee,

Joy all season long,

As the tree is standing tall. 

My Hyde

I’ve found the missing piece of me,

From before to now , this is where I wanna be,

I’ve experienced pain , I’ve enjoyed happiness,

Yet I’ve felt the manics and the crappiness,

I’ve come so far to say ,I’m okay with the ride,

As scary as it is , comforting to have someone by my side,

I’m sorry that people had to see my hyde,

Lower and low in pride,

I try to forget the old days,

But it change so much of me in many ways,

I try to remember the pain it brought me,

To help me realize the joy I see,

I’ve found the Dr Jekyll in me,

As the Hyde is hidden suddenly left in a flee. 

Against all odds

You would love me with a broken leg,

It’s the same but it’s a mislinked peg in my head,

You would support me and guide me to walk,

Do the same for me when I want to just talk,

It’s a sickness like no other ,

It can happen to anyone and another,

Person , anyone experience pain,

But why is it okay when it’s physical vs being sane,

We are sad , you don’t need to question why,

But like a broken bone we also cry,

I can’t seem to get over it some days ,

Like anything , I hurt anyways ,

A broken bone , cancer and a loss ,

What is the cost ,

To show you all pain is the same,

But more sympathy for physical it’s the same game,

Is the same amount of hurt and pain,

As everyone wishes for it to go away,

They don’t understand, 

How I broken leg and depression link to prevent us from taking a stand .. 

Many gutters ,one lucky strike

A dream I thought I could never achieve,

A goal that took forever beyond believe,

Time tested me multiple times over and over,

But I got lucky , like finding a four leaf clover,

It took what seemed like forever,

And I thought I would never,

Reach that day ,

And it came anyway ,

It was a true blessing, 

And I wasn’t progressing ,

But it came out of no where,

To find me at a year , from there,

From there to before,

From hurting from not any more ,

It’s a journey, hard there’s no denying,

But I reached it as I soar and I’m flying