its always at the back of my mind

sometimes I feel like the past has come back to haunt me,

Maybe its the fear inside that paralyses me, so I can’t see,

its the same thing that haunts my fears that lingers in my body,

Its like im frozen on the spot theres nobody,

That can save me from my inner fears,

Only I can wipe my tears,

From the scared little child of the past,

Fight it, don’t hide it or it will last,

It constantly pops up like flashback,

Stuck internally in an attack,

My mind the power of my thoughts,

Feeling emotionally caught. 

sometimes I recall

 When I see people sad,

Angry, lost or mad, 

I recall  the time I’ve felt that way,

And I remind myself that theres always another day,

Ive been through my own experience of pain,

Had my moments that I’ve felt insane,

So when I see others feeling the same way,

I know that life can get better some day,

I recall all my painful moments,

Living life through them all , as I own it,

But when I see others cry,

I can recall all my moments, I asked myself why,

Why, pain had to strike me so bad,

Why I had to feel so much and cry,

But I recall all the pain,

So I can enjoy the happiness as it washes through the rain.

No Matter What (Anti Bullying Poem)

when someone beats you down.

know its okay to frown,

keep your head held high,

cause you were born to touch the sky,

and when people make you cry,

remember the reason why,

your stronger than any painful word,

and remember you don't live life based on what you've heard ,

your a fighter, a believer,

a strong person an achiever,

don't give in to the hateful words you here,

cause people love you dear.

Follow the light

Even in the darkest days,

the light will show you the way,

in pain and sorrow,

there's always tomorrow,

in the mist of no hope,

you can always cope,

and when your not strong,

you got to hang on,

cause theres light in the darkest hour,

you've got the power,

to change the fate,

and open the gate,

to the light that changes your days,

and removes the grays.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

I remember all the beautiful memories of the past,

all the times we've laughed, it was a blast,

its shelved in my mind like a walk down memory lane,

like a flower growing from the rain,

a sweet sensation like a bliss from the breeze,

leaves falling from the trees,

a walk down the memories of before,

wanting to create more,

but times and moments end,

my heart and soul mend,

you will always be my friend,

as the memories of you blend.

The stars align in our hearts

if eyes are the window to our soul,

the stars are the pin points on the map that makes us whole,

the stars shine through our pain,

mapping out the journey through the rain,

the stars fall to the ground,

reminding us how we all fall down,

but we shoot through the sky,

like diamonds shining up high,

the stars shine through our deepest pain,

endure the darkest rain,

following the path to the one who matter most,

the love host.

shadow/ Silohuette

I see your shadow In my dreams,

its almost like reality , nothings as it seems,

I see your spirit in my dreams,

caught in a mind weave,

I constantly try to reach out for your hand,

paralyzed in a sleep trance. I cant stand,

I see your shadow walking towards me.

as im asleep I cant be,

awaken but I see you like im awake,

is it a dream or a vision, heavens sake,

your walking away now,

is it a shadow or silhouette , I dont know how.

lay me down

lay me down amongst the freshly cut grass,
the beautiful sun shining through the glass,
let my skin feel the texture of the ground,
listening to the nature sound,

let my eyes rest,
beyond the birds nest,
is a dream becoming a reality,
as I travel down lightly,

my mind surreals,
following the feels,
of the hazy sky,
internal peace from the sky.

yahrzeit candle

yahrzeit candle

I shine a candle just for you,
remembering the journey and the strength you had to do,
my heart lives on in the fire,
as the joy of your life brings desire,

celebrating your life and spirit,
I can almost hear you laugh in it,
the candle shines among the brightest stars,
cause that's who you are,

you shined as bright as the candle in real life,
in happiness and in strife,
your a strong hero in my eyes,
as the light goes on, you will rise.

Our friendship

I miss our laughs together,

A friendship like ours will never sever,

Ive been thinking about how much we’ve done together,

And how it had to end , I’d  never,

Thought our times would end,

But your always gonna be my friend,

And I know you miss me like I do,

And you care as much for I as do for you,

My heart goes on my emotions will heal,

But I know a friendship is true and real,

I will move on and remain strong,

Cause our friendship will last long.

its almost that time

I miss your smile and laugh,
you made me calm in life wrath,
and its almost that time,
and all I can do speak to you in rhymes,

Its the holiday of love,
I love you here now and above,
but comes and goes,
I just know I love you as I know,

you love me,
and no matter what this day will be,
I love you and will always remember you,
but I remember everything you do.

determination

when life gets me down,

im not afraid to turn it around,

even if life seems hard,

I know how to play my cards,

if the road seems rough,

im strong and tough,

but I am only human inside,

but I never fail to try,

and see the bright side,

as I put everything in pride,

my heart is determined to soar,

as my mind wants more.

I had no clue you were masking

I had no clue you were masking

I didn’t know you were masking,

I should have done more of the asking,

I didn’t know you were hiding,

I should of done more of the confiding ,  

I didn’t know you were in pain,

I should of seen the rain,

In your soul,

I could of made you whole,

I didn’t see the struggle in your heart,

Or noticed the signs you were pulling apart,

I didn’t see the chaos in your mind ,

I failed to find,

I didn’t know you felt this bad,

So empty and so sad,

I wish I knew, 

I wish i has a clue. 

What you would say

What you would say.

When life is rough,
You would always tell me to be tough,
And when tears fell from my eyes,
You wiped my tears , remind me it’s okay , you were wise,

You always said it was okay to cry,
When I was hurt and didn’t know why,
You reminded me it was okay ,
To struggle and have a bad day,

You encouraged me to feel,
When I didn’t want the pain to feel real,
You encouraged me to smile,
And laugh a while,

And now that your gone away,
The messages stay ,
With me in my heart,
Cause it’s something I will never part.

I didn’t know you were hiding

I didn’t know you were hiding.

Part of me didn’t know how sad you were feeling ,
Maybe I was caught up non reality not seeing,
The real pain you felt,
Until I knelt ,

Down and cried for another day,
With you in the world one way ,
Or another you seemed so strong,
God knows how long,

You were holding it in,
Maybe worried admitting it was a sin,
But I never knew it was to much to bare,
Cause you had so many people who cared ,

But I would give anything to see you smile once more,
To dance with me on the dance floor,
To smile again right at me,
Until life becomes infinitely free.

different

different

part of me feels my poetry has changed,

maybe its my emotions that has rearranged,

or the situation that changed my words,

or the lack of emotions causing a blur,

it might have evolved into something new,

something totally different from the blue,

emotional things Ive written before,

but its lacking I want more,

something seems shallow,

like my mind wont allow,

my emotions to escape my head,

and my dreams to stay with me in bed,

but its different from before,

but I know its lacking something more.

When I see a bunch of clocks its like paranioa

in a rush every second,

like a reminder after every beckon,

my mind races like an anxiety attack,

sweat falling from my back,

the hands racing,

my anxiety pacing,

time spinning ,

like right from the begining,

it ticks on every minute,

when it starts in hypnotized in it,

its a cycle of internal pacing,

the clocks im facing.

butterfly daze

im overjoyed in a daze,
when the skies are dark grays,
I see you in spirit and soul,
and it keeps me whole,

I see you've met friends,
you came with more of them in the end,
im proud heaven has made you feel,
safe and at home and that's real,

im in a daze how much you've changed,
my life has changed too I've rearranged,
my life and I hope yours is full of light,
to guard you from the night.

It’s been awhile since you visited 🦋

Poem title : 

it’s been awhile since you visited  🦋

You should to show up almost every day,

Now it seems like you’ve gone away,

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,

Maybe cause it rained and the sky wasn’t so blue,

But I miss having you around,

In a form of a butterfly in spirt and sound,

It’s been awhile since you’ve stoped by,

I can’t remember the last time I said hi,

I can’t remember the last encounter between us,

Maybe it’s the breeziness and the gust,

But I miss having you around,

Cause you’ve been gone and Your lost when I want you found. 

A perfect image

A perfect image 

A girl standing near the mirror,

Feeling insecure and inferior,

About how she looks ,

Cause she’s self conscious and it hooks,

On to her like her skin,

As battling her self worth she tries to win,

But battles may knock her down,

Internal Rumors causes her frowns ,

But she’s dreaming of that perfect image inside,

Realizing the pain she hides,

The sorrow in her eyes ,

For a perfect image she cries,

At night she feel perfect and real,

Feeling to feel ,

She’s afraid of the man in the mirror,

Cause others reflections make her inferior. 

Angel without wings

Angel without wings 

Evert day I visit you in my dreams,
as I float to you in the dream streams,
I linger amongst the angels for a while,
as I rest from my travels from earth to heaven in miles,

but I don't belong here,
as time grows near,
my time to leave and go home,
where the humans not angels roam,

im an angel without wings,
in heaven where the angels sings,
a visitor among strangers,
with you free from danger,

but when I leave,
I always believe,
im an angel without wings,
traveling in heaven where the angels sings.

Rise

Rise

Rise like a phoenix out from the ashes,

rebirth from the ashes as the fire clashes,

rise to find all the pains behind you,

when you give in, see yourself through,

see the fire in your eyes,

rebirth hope and realize,

your born to rise above the pain,

stronger than pain , wont be defused by rain,

rise until tomorrow,

rebirth love not sorrow,

be stronger than any soul,

among the emptiness you become whole.