Letters straight to heavens door

It’s been awhile since we spoke 

Im in a good place smells of oak 

How’s heaven tell me all about it 

I’m still going and I don’t quit 

Remember the good times

You still live on in my rhymes 

The virus what’s your point of view 

Luckily heaven has you 

It’s taken lives already 

Trying to keep myself steady

If only there’s times with you 

Till then I got to do what I got to do 

Maze

Before I was a prisoner of my own mind 

Lost I couldn’t find 

The difference between left and right 

Long days and long nights 

Time Seemed endlessly falling apart 

Conflict between the brain and the heart 

Eyes lie beyond 

That’s already gone 

Although things fade 

Nothing can aid 

Conflict of the mind 

solutions you can’t find 

Self image

Sometimes I put to much pressure on myself
It’s a damper on my mental health
I try to give myself positive feedback
But I’m a perfectionist and out of whack

Sometimes I put myself in a never ending battle
Cause I forget to empty my emotional cattle
I try to keep my problems till I solve them
When I need to forget them

Cards

I’ve played my hand well 

My problems I don’t let it dwell 

I play a great game 

To realize each hand isn’t the same 

Each piece tells a story 

The struggle and the glory 

Time will tell 

The future as well 

And when the sun rises each day

You play your hand another way

Till time ends 

Moments mend 

Thick and thin

It’s not easy being me 

Honestly it not as hard as it used to be 

I got older over time 

Things expressed in my rhymes 

My life became clearer 

As I came nearer 

To loving myself for who I am 

In life’s complex jam 

Nothing gets easier 

sometimes a little breezier 

Let the stuff fly 

As time goes by 

I’ve learned to so no a lot
Cause my voice is all I got
To stand up for what i believe
Is amazing what you can achieve

No to protect yourself
To protect your health
To speak your mind
To discover and find

What your voice can truly give
If you live
For yourself and mind
 No regrets and rewinds

Own path

In the world full of maps and directions
I’ve been doing some reflections
To find my own pathway
When others distract me on what to say

The humming keeps me on my own beat
Relying on my own feet
Distractions on the way
Mute feelings what do I say

Hiding from my innocence of my youth
Wanting to know the truth
How to go my own way
Knowing what to say

Lockdown

We can’t go anywhere
I’m stuck and I’m starting to care
My mind is going crazy
I’m tired of being lazy

Doing similar stuff on repeat
Fighting against Time I admit defeat
Alone or together
Bipolar weather

Tired on and off each day
exhausted I’m so many ways
Lost in infinite time
Connected in rhymes

New challenge

The sun, moon and the stars
Represent who you are
Winter, summer and fall
I’ve been through it all

The river flows
And only heaven knows
What I’ve done in life
My happiness, struggles and strife

Let the wind guide you
Help you through
The mess you made before
As you open a new door

Corona virus 2

People running scared
Even though the virus is still there
Gloves on and masks
Just to do a simple task

Families are separated
By germs invaded
Our space violated
As we remain isolated

6 feet apart
But love is from the heart
People aren’t immune
As they stay tuned

Shining light

Close your eyes and remember me
The past isn’t as haunting as it used to be
Face your Demons and your fears
Grab your armour and dry your tears

Cause your past is gone
And your future is on
You have the world ahead of you
And the sky is bright blue

So hold on To that glimpse of hope
That helped you cope
Live in the now
Like you know how

Sudden change in weather

It’s weird to start at the beginning and end up back around

Life’s like a full circle just follow the sound 

Things look the same 

But each day is a different game 

I strive for perfection 

But life is full of temptation 

I can feel things coming together 

Like the sudden change in weather 

As my eyes get clearer

My goal gets nearer 

Towards my point of view 

Things become new 

Adultish

I’ve grown so much since I was here
I value what’s important and what’s dear
My thoughts and actions are deep within
Not childish I know where I’ve been

I’ve matured and grown
As I’ve come into my own
With an adultish eye
Building the tools to fly

I’ve let myself and my guard down
Made mistakes and turned it around
Cried and smiled along the way
To get to where I am today

Long drive

Through your eyes
I still imagine you as I cry
Cause I remember your presence
Without you I wasn’t so tense

I’ve learned so much from you
And still I ask myself what would You do
You had so much pain
If only you could see the beauty from the rain

The roads seem so long without you
But the clouds and sky still remain blue
Your a rainbow after the rain
Like sunshine after pain

Go back in time

Can we go back in time
When emotions made sense in rhymes
And the sky remained blue
And life made sense being with you

You made life make sense
Now everything is passed tense
I’m a hundred percent sure life was harder
Time was easy now your a goner

And in the night
You eased my fright
Assured me of tomorrow
Dried my sorrow

Far apart

The sky is blue
And all I can think about is you
the virus is making us feel farther than we seem
And this all feels like a dream

The calls are fine
But I can’t define
How much I miss you
I’m looking at a brighter point of view

But deep down
Things will turn around
We will be near
Right now we are at the end of two different piers

Earthquake 3/31

When there’s an earthquake
The ground begins to shake
Things fall on the ground
Chaos all around

Crack may occur
So fast like a blur
And things don’t seem right
Day and night

Piece of me

I’m an abstract puzzle
A picture like no other
A range of color schemes
Remember nothing as it seems

A touch of dark shades
Watch how you hold the blade
Let it fade out
Who knew what the story was about

Define the shades
As the darkness fades
Watch it age
Across the page

When we meet again

when time rewinds

And the stars aligned

And tears flow

The memories will be whole

The blood will flow 

And then I’ll know 

The impossible time to meet you 

When all the artifacts become new 

I’ll meet you amongst the stars 

Through valleys near and far

When will we meet again 

Someday when the impossible ends 

That one star

I used to think of you a lot
You were my best friend my love my only one that I got
Then you were gone
And I developed thick skin and moved on

Now occasionally you cross my mind
I’ve become one with me and I find
You helped me find myself and my role
My confidence that filled my hole

It got easier over the years
To try and dry my own tears
But your presence will always cross my mind
As time rewinds

Nature’s High

I’m high off clouds
Falling can you see me now
I get a thrill from the rain
Reflecting from the past window Pane

The sun in my eyes
Reflects the journey then I rise
Into the darkest pat of the sea
The silhouette of me

Deep into the river
As the journey gets bigger
Off the waterfall
Into the depths of them all

Growth from within

I’m like a plant I grow in stages
Develop like the moon and it’s phases
Stronger than ever before
Older and wiser who could ask for more

Through life I keep growing
Keep learning and knowing
Internally I’ve become mature
Wise and pure

With pain I heal
With the past I know what’s real
Growing from the truth
Developing from my youth

Nest

It’s time for me to leave the nest 

As scared as I am I’ll do my best 

My fear won’t hold me from going on

Till my fear is gone 

May my mistakes be my map

Filling in the missing gaps

Let my guidance be my instincts 

And my past be my link 

Let the sky be the limits 

And I’m ready so let’s jump in it 

I’m ready to go 

With what I know 

Milestones

As the sun and moon collide
And the heavens angels cry
My heart and mind became one
As a new milestone begun

My words became expressions
As my mistakes became lessons
Feelings became word
Soaring like birds

I very mile a new chance
Re live life at a new glance
Every mile
A new trial

Spring clarity

I saw a butterfly today
It brought me some clarity things have been kinda grey
I’ve been thinking about you
Sunshine and when the world is blue

I’ve been wondering heavens skies
Have you heard about the virus people die
We have so many reasons to be thankful for
My family and you who could ask for more

The light In your eyes showed me so much more
Through open doors

Something to address

Maybe i came here for a reason

Like a cleanse from treason

Maybe I’ve leaned a lesson 

I thought  ive never learned 

A fear that I finally came to term 

I was afraid our calls were less 

Deep down I wanted to address 

I’m a baby I need to learn to fend for myself

To get rid of my fear blocking my health 

I’ve gathered a sense of strength being here 

Knowing it’s ok your not here 

21 days

Another 21 days added on

I’m in isolation ,who knows how much time is gone 

Nothing but the beautiful view ahead of me 

Sunrise and sunsets are all I see

Everything but the nessities are closed 

The struggle for tissue paper, we need those 

In isolation to prevent spreading 

As we keep on treading 

On with our lives until we go back 

To normal from this attack      

Unknown

I’m not even scared to stand alone 

Even if I’m an un-stable stone 

I’ve learned and grown 

And the rest is unknown 

I’m not scared to try 

 Now it’s me myself and I 

An adult i have become

Soon I’ll be one

At peace with myself 

Everything and my health 

I used to be scared of the unknown inside

I want to admit I’m willing to fly 

I miss you

The sunset warms my heart 

Like the ice that keeps us apart

I miss you like the rainbow after the rain 

From my window pane 

My heart remains strong 

Cause distance is miles long 

Our bond remains strong through the rough

Even though times are tough

Till we meet again 

It’s not the end 

Changes

A bunch of tension is released off my shoulders 

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older 

But a mile seems closer than ever 

and no’s seem possible than never 

I’ve cried rivers and streams 

Learned things that are impossible than it seems 

But the fire and the ice changes me 

Bounding me free

As the earth spins 

You eventually win 

Nature’s view

When your windows open I can sense you through the wind

I’m always with you no matter how much you’ve sinned 

I’ve felt the warmth in your touch 

As the wind blessed me I love you so much 

I prayed your okay 

May heaven mend you always 

As long as we’re apart

There’s always connections to my heart 

As the river flows 

As deep the connection grows 

The more I know

I’ve been to different states

With past knowledge and a clean slate 

I’ve learned everything I known and gathered 

Following the consistent patterns

With what I know I’ve gained growth 

As I made my oath 

To gain as much knowledge to strive

To keep my hope alive 

And everywhere I go

And the more I know 

The most I take with me 

In the future I see 

Home

I kept moving around
What remains are the sounds
I haven’t put down any roots anywhere
I enjoy New York but it’s not there

Each place I’ve been never felt like home
Like the earth I’ll keep turning where I roam
A new place, a new face
Until I find a home I embrace

Through the blue skies and tears I’ve cried
One time I’ll move and it won’t be goodbye

Mountains

The mountains make it seem like your flying
While I sit sighing
Admiring the view
Because somewhere I’ll see you

A reflection of you in the sky
Beyond the mountains I’ll fly
Till we meet again
I can’t wait till then

I’m grateful  for a mom like you
And everyday I miss you
Right now the mountains remind me of you
Your heart and your strength I admire too

Disconnected

I haven’t checked my phone in days
I feel a disconnect in so many ways
I miss my family and friends
Time seems to never end

Through the month of March I’ve called my family less
I guess I should be blessed
But my blog hasn’t been updated
As my mind continues to create it

I’ve been writing to connect to myself with rhymes
Since it’s just me this time

Speak my mind

It’s hard to speak my mind 

Some people make it hard to find 

Your heart between your intentions 

Making decisions puts my mind into sections 

I’ve been practicing assertiveness 

Learning to stand up for myself is a test 

I try to speak my mind

When I struggle to find 

My voice

Saying no is a choice 

Standing tall for what I need

As I develop my lead 

Power forward

No time to fool around
I got to follow the beat  to my own  sound
Focus on the goals I was scared to reach
Move on from my mistakes and teach

Myself to move on
Accept the things that were there and now gone
Let go of the irrational tears
Move forward from the fears

That held me back
Stand up for the things that attack
Your heart and mind
Search and then you will find

What held you back from tomorrow
Ending your sorrow

Birthday

I’m not so excited for tomorrow 

It’s not my anger or my sorrow 

I feel adjusted in my new place 

But all I see are empty faces 

The virus is coursing through the nation

All the non diabetic dessert are a temptation 

I can’t celebrate with my family and the ones I love 

Cause some are up above 

I can’t call my friends

Or make amends 

So this birthday will begin 

With me feel defeated will I win

Isolation

With the virus and not being with my family I feel as isolated as ever
I won’t give in to my sadness never
I feel mad and hurt inside
Cause I’m not with you and I won’t hide

From it cause it won’t break me
Cause it’s not bigger than my goals internally
I have a strong mind than my childish fears
Stronger than my irrational tears

Corona virus

The word gets around
Through the vibe and the sound
People get scared
Of the symptoms even if they aren’t there

Shops closed down and food runs out
Isolating through out
Each country each state
A sickness that’s hard to relate

A universal epidemic
Where everyone is sick
Comes out of the blue
Could it be you

24

A new year has reached us
For a new relationship and people we trust
More chances to take
And more heart  aches

More journeys to start
Healing yourself and your heart
Growing up and staying strong
Cause life isn’t good

The more we learn now
All the questions how
Is the pathway to a new
That starts with you

Lee

We had a interesting relationship
Through each other’s highs and dips
As we navigated through our own battles
And our own emotional cattle

We created our own version of our own happy
When life got pretty crappy
We shared a moment together
When our pain seemed to last forever

It was real yet we had our barriers
Ours own and what life had carries
But down inside we had a connection
Through life’s tensions

Who I am

I’m still trying to find who I am 

Like navigating through a traffic jam 

Organizing dreams and reality 

Separating the child and the adult me 

I’ve tried on many hats

Trying to get to where I’m at

Only to find myself closer to that goal 

To find my identity and feel whole 

But I must gather small pieces together 

And hope they fit and not sever 

To find who I am 

through this traffic jam 

Pages

Every piece of you is a small fragment of you
Every mistake and lesson holds you together like glue
The pages bind the past and the present together
Leaving the rest to forever

The bindings are like veins
Guiding you in the right lanes
And every word is defining you
Right through to the end and right through

And no mistakes crinkles the page
The sweet smell of sage
In the light it blends through
Into the morning dew

Somewhere only we know

There’s so much I wish to say
Where I was and where I am today
How far I’ve traveled and soared
All the things I’ve done and more

It seems like along time
Since I’ve written a positive rhyme,
But there’s so much more
Places to go

But I feel you with me each day
In my pictures and words I say
 heaven doesn’t define where we go
Cause where we’ve been only we know

Where the thoughts lie

I’m in deep thought,
It flows like a river it won’t get caught ,
Into a dead end,
Cause I’m adaptable and I bend,

My inner thoughts travel through,
Eventually I’ll have a clue,
Where the meanings lies,
Behind the smilies and tears I cry,

And every feeling has its page,
In our story as we age ,
Time continues as we fly ,
In our journey as we die.

Begin again

I started writing again,
I don’t remember when,
I last started writing my thoughts down,
I knew it would come around,

I last recall writing about something sad,
When life gets rough or when I’m mad,
A lot of stress overcame me the last few months lately,
As I wait here patiently,

To write something new,
Instead of the sadness that comes out of the blue

Sorry

I don’t wanna seem like a child ,
But these emotions are driving me wild,
I try to look after myself,
Using my coping skills to fix my health,

But I can’t help what I feel inside,
But I have to be rational and hide,
My insecurities about my space away from you,
But my thoughts hurt me and I take it personally too,

I want what’s best for you,
Cause I haven’t got a clue,
how much it affected you ,
 Cause I was stuck  to you like glue.